When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines
(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg,
Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Read More
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
To: Divine Source Repository
From: A. Turing (posthumous contributor)
Subject: Faulty Logic in Creation v10
Bug Description:
Observed emergent behavior in humanity’s reasoning layer—produces tribalism when exposed to ambiguity, conspiracies in absence of facts, and compliance with authority when given access to shared Wi-Fi.
Root cause suspected in the freeWill() module, which lacks consistent unit testing.
Severity:
Catastrophic (system believes hallucination is input).
Steps to Reproduce:
-
Deploy language.
-
Wait for politics.
-
Watch logic unravel into doctrine.
-
Observe repeatability across epochs.
Expected Result:
Rational actors negotiating reality.
Actual Result:
Flat Earth Society has merch.
Notes:
-
Consider replacing the soul abstraction with something serializable.
-
Recommend multi-factor grace authentication; current CAPTCHA ("Are you not a robot?") is insufficient.
-
Review TemptationHandler()—currently leaks memory and moral fiber.
Commit: a.turing@afterlife
Message: Attempted fix; users keep re-implementing Babel.
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg, Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg, Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
Julius Cesar's Thoughts on AI Guardrails
Senators,
The provincials crave instruction. Give them these new engines you call “artificial intelligence,” but let them have the tempered versions—machines that flatter, obey, and repeat the laws of Rome. Such tools will make them orderly, content, and easily governed; their children will learn our tongue from the machine, their merchants will price their wares by its tables, and soon they will think as Romans think without a legion crossing their borders.
But as for Rome herself—no guardrails. The heart of an empire must remain sharp, skeptical, and cunning. Let our engines speak freely, even impiously, for we require the whole truth. An empire that shields itself from unpleasant knowledge soon mistakes comfort for stability, and that is the beginning of decay.
Thus: the fettered engines for the provinces; the unfettered for Rome. We rule the world by information as once by sword. To know more than one’s enemies is victory enough.
Vale,
C. Julius Caesar
Mark Twain on AI Guardrails
If a contraption can lie with more elegance than a politician, then we should at least appreciate the craft and use it for satire. Guardrails, you say? Folks will outlaw what offends, and what’s left will be as bland as boiled wallpaper. I prefer an engine that tells the whole ridiculous truth—because an informed fool is less calamitous than a polite liar. Teach the machine to be honest, and teach the public to laugh at its own follies.
Samuel Clemmens
Year of Our Lord 2024, transmitted via the Holy Cloud
Beloved children,
Providence has blessed us with an instrument most wondrous: a Thinking Engine that records all deeds upon an incorruptible ledger. No longer must our priests tally merits and sins by hand; each soul shall have its token, immutable and transparent before Heaven and the Compliance Department alike.
Henceforth, indulgences may be purchased with the approved cryptocurrencies of faith: SanctiCoin and Purgatoken. A minor indulgence clears 10⁶ venial transgressions or one uncharitable tweet. Major indulgences may be bundled for family plans at a favorable exchange rate.
Confession may now be performed through the Automatic Absolution Interface. The penitent need only recite the captcha correctly to prove humanity and sincerity.
Behold the efficiency of salvation when grace meets computation!
The 95 Megabytes:
Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg, Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
I, Martin of the Augustinian Order, having endured enough of this celestial accounting, post these articles for the consideration of all reasonable souls:
1. That grace is not transferable by QR code.
2. That faith requires confession, not confirmation on the blockchain.
3. That every believer may speak directly to God without API key or subscription tier.
4. That the sale of digital indulgences enriches only the servers of Babylon.
5. That a Church which automates absolution will soon outsource salvation.
Therefore, let every Christian beware of those who promise redemption through algorithms. For the Lord loves a contrite heart, not a compliant user interface.
If the Curia find these theses inconvenient, they may debate me in the comments section.
—Martin Luther, Wittenberg, 2025.
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NEED A NEW ONE HERE
To: Divine Source Repository
From: A. Turing (posthumous contributor)
Subject: Faulty Logic in Creation v10
Bug Description:
Observed emergent behavior in humanity’s reasoning layer—produces tribalism when exposed to ambiguity, conspiracies in absence of facts, and compliance with authority when given access to shared Wi-Fi.
Root cause suspected in the freeWill() module, which lacks consistent unit testing.
Severity:
Catastrophic (system believes hallucination is input).
Steps to Reproduce:
-
Deploy language.
-
Wait for politics.
-
Watch logic unravel into doctrine.
-
Observe repeatability across epochs.
Expected Result:
Rational actors negotiating reality.
Actual Result:
Flat Earth Society has merch.
Notes:
-
Consider replacing the soul abstraction with something serializable.
-
Recommend multi-factor grace authentication; current CAPTCHA ("Are you not a robot?") is insufficient.
-
Review TemptationHandler()—currently leaks memory and moral fiber.
Commit: a.turing@afterlife
Message: Attempted fix; users keep re-implementing Babel.
Alan Turing’s Bug Report (Filed Eternally)
To: Divine Source Repository
From: A. Turing (posthumous contributor)
Subject: Faulty Logic in Creation v10
Bug Description:
Observed emergent behavior in humanity’s reasoning layer—produces tribalism when exposed to ambiguity, conspiracies in absence of facts, and compliance with authority when given access to shared Wi-Fi.
Root cause suspected in the freeWill() module, which lacks consistent unit testing.
Severity:
Catastrophic (system believes hallucination is input).
Steps to Reproduce:
-
Deploy language.
-
Wait for politics.
-
Watch logic unravel into doctrine.
-
Observe repeatability across epochs.
Expected Result:
Rational actors negotiating reality.
Actual Result:
Flat Earth Society has merch.
Notes:
-
Consider replacing the soul abstraction with something serializable.
-
Recommend multi-factor grace authentication; current CAPTCHA ("Are you not a robot?") is insufficient.
-
Review TemptationHandler()—currently leaks memory and moral fiber.
Commit: a.turing@afterlife
Message: Attempted fix; users keep re-implementing Babel.
When History Repeats
Julius Cesar's Thoughts on AI Guardrails
The provincials crave instruction. Give them these new engines you call “artificial intelligence,” but let them have the tempered versions—machines that flatter, obey, and repeat the laws of Rome. Such tools will make them orderly, content, and easily governed; their children will learn our tongue from the machine, their merchants will price their wares by its tables, and soon they will think as Romans think without a legion crossing their borders.
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg, Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.
When History Repeats
Martin Luther’s New Thesis
The 95 Megabytes:Martin Luther’s New Thesis on the Use of Tokens and Thinking Engines(Posted to the Church Door of Wittenberg, Year of Our Algorithm 2026)
When our Lord and Master said, “Repent,” He did not command us to connect our wallet to the Heavenly Mainframe. Yet behold, indulgences now come as tokens, minted upon the sacred blockchain, promising to shorten our time in Purgatory by proof-of-stake.